Writers Workshop assignment I chose from Kat over at Mama's Losin' It...... drumroll please......
5.) You've been hired as a writer for "Late Show with David Letterman." Your first assignment is to come up with a witty, nonpolitical Top Ten list for him to read on air.
Top Ten ways to know Motherhood has Smacked You Straight in the Face......
10) You can wipe someone else's butt and not totally throw up.
9) The drive thru person at McDonalds knows how many kids you have and whether they need boy or girl toys, just by the sound of your voice.
8) You know more about The Wiggles than you care to admit.
7) You boobs resemble more National Geographic than Cosmopolitan.
6) The last 10 movies you have seen at the movie theatre have been rated PG.
5) That totally organic diet has given way to chicken fingers and tator tots.
4) With total McGyver skills, you can entertain a child with just the contents of the bottom of your purse.
3) You have 3 categories of clothes ... pre-maternity, maternity, and whatever is clean.
2) "You mean there are other books beside Good Night Moon ?"
AND the #1 Way to Know that Motherhood has Smacked You in the Face.....
1) Your idea of porn would be your husband telling you "Those sweatpants make you look sexy"... or... "Honey, go back to sleep, I'll take care of the baby."....
15 comments:
AMEN to #1....I'm all for going back to sleep! And I love the one about the National Geographic boobs!!
OMG! You had me with your #10. THAT is totally the truth. Loved your top 10 list.
That was a FANTASTIC list! Poo, vomit, spit-up, I never thought I would be able to deal.
Number 7 is totally me all over - not to be too graphic.
You are TOO funny!! Maybe you should go on Ellen. ;)
Oh and I'd feel bad for Moose too but it didn't seem to bother him one bit.
LOL soooo true!
This was great!!!! Loved it!!!
Those are GREAT! And what if I already have Nat Geo boobs pre pregnancy/baby?! I'm in trouble!
That was great -yes you write better than his writers sometime!
Be blessed!
Lorie
HILARIOUS and sooooo true!! Oh and I'm LOVING the stage right now where my daughter LOVES ANYTHING in my purse! Entertains her for hours! lol
~melody~
lol! I wanted to tell you I'm taking your advice to have a giveaway. I have too much crafts laying around. :) Thanks for the idea and great post!!
Oh my!! I had to read out loud at those! They were totally priceless!
That was a great list! I loved your three categories of clothes. Hilarious!
Oh geez, I'm nodding away over here at every single one...looks like motherhood has definitely smacked me straight in the face...and then kept smacking.
number 3 is the bane of my existence. i just thought the other day how a maternity top might look good on me 19 months after my kid was born!!!! i need to diet!!! this post was hilarious!
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