Raise your hand if you have ever experienced Deja Vu? OK, ya'll can put your hands down... today at church our sermon was on how we allow doors to be opened that let the devil in, doors that let things happen in our lives over and over again, things that we repeat but want so badly not to... we all have those things... monkeys on our back.... troubles in our lives that we don't even like to talk about, not even to our friends, troubles that seem so big to us, yet we are afraid that if we speak them out loud that they will seem so insignificant, so we never speak up....
I like to consider myself happy... blessed in all the things that God has given to me... I like to look at the glass half full and try to see the good in all situations... until lately.... I don;t know what is going on.... my patience is all gone, I am now a member of the "Microwave Society", you know I want it now or better yet, I want to see it 10 minutes ago....I have been having a bad case of the "WANTS" ... ya know, I want this and I want that.... not just material things like a new house, but I want things to be different, different in my life, different in my mind, in my perception...
I am ready for change... I am ready to make a commitment in my life, I am ready to try new things and try to be a better mother, wife, daughter, friend, better to myself and everyone in it.... I want to do alot of things, and I get this way every once in a while, but then the flesh side of me either gets too tired or too lazy and then I give up on all of it... I don't want to get that way anymore... I want to be able to slam those doors on the devil and not give him a foothold on me or my life... I want to believe in myself the way I believe in other people... why is that so hard to do... why is it easy to believe in someone else, but when the tables are turned, we have such a hard time believing in ourselves....
THINGS I WANT TO DO......
I have kept off the 20 pounds I had lost, but I am now ready to lose the last 40 pounds...
I want to get Baby O in her own bed in her own room... Sorry Baby, but you gotta go....
I want to get my little business off of the ground... I want to have faith in myself to make it work...
I want to help my hubby in his business... I want to learn to help with bids, orders, paper work....
I want to train to run in a 5K... I want to learn to run... I want to be healthy and look great in a pair of jeans....
I want to learn how to turn off the TV... I want to get control of the boob tube and stop letting it have control over us....
I want to purge my life and my house... I want to feel like I have nothing cluttering my life, especially if it does not have sentimental meaning....
I want to make my blog great... great design... I want a cool button for my my blog... I want it to be a fantastic expression of who I am ....
I would love to be that girlfriend that gets us all together... do something fun, I want to stop being the girlfriend that waits for one of the other girlfriends to organize something...
I want to eat more organically... eat more veggies... learn how to make healthy things we all will eat... even my kids....
I want to take more action at my church.. I want to stop being that person who gets frustrated that things aren't being organized well or there aren't enough activities... I want to be the person who lends a helping hand and stop being the back pew criticizer ......
I want to kill the envy inside me and stop having the wants so bad about things that are not important... things that will be out of style in 6 months... things that are not going to make me a better person, things that are not going to help me out in any way, except make me more broke....
I want to volunteer more at my kids school.... every year I say, "OH, I am so going to do more this year" and then before you know it school year is over and I have used every excuse in the book... these are the years that my kids will remember and I want to be there in those memories... I want them to tell stories and have those stories include me....
I want this to ba a beginning... if you wnat to join me, feel free... I could use the help, I could use the accountablity... I love ya'll and thanks for standing by me, even though I have been the worlds worst blogger... thanks for staying true blue and by my side... talk to you later, gators.....
3 comments:
i think that sounds like a totally good, and workable plan. onward and upward! oh and p.s....give yourself some credit for the goodness you provide every day! i'm one of the recipients, and it's worth something!!! xoxo
good for you for setting these amazing goals! and GOOD LUCK!
Wow! What a timely post. As I'm sure you figured out when you were at my blog this morning, the devil got through a door in our lives in a big way this weekend. And I'm not supposed to talk about it...yet I need to talk about it. And you are right, we don't talk about our troubles generally, even the small ones. I am not sure why I don't speak up.
We have so many of the same goals: being a better wife, mother, friend... weight loss, purging our homes, church. As far as church goes, I need to find a church home. It's been hard finding a place to fit in as outsiders in this small town. I would love to join you and we could support each other as we try to reach our goals.
Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. Your words mean more than you can know.
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